Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Wild Girl

A lady stopped me at the super market the other day and complimented me on "how well of a mother I turned out to be." I smiled and told her thank you. As I grabbed a loaf of bread off the shelf she spoke up again. "I really thought you were going to turn out to be a single mother living off welfare." This took me by surprise and everything I had to keep a grin on my face. I couldn't believe she had said this to me.

I calmly said, "I guess everyone can be full of surprises." Trying to get a way from her, I stepped away and acted like I was trying to decide between creamy or chunky peanut butter. It didn't work. She followed me.

"I mean you were so wild. And your husband. Boy, with the background he came from you would never know by the way you two are so close to the church." She leaned against the handle of her shopping cart.

Now, it's one thing to say something about me, but bad mouth my husband, you're going to have a problem. I did stay calm but only because we were in a public place. The only thing that came to mind that I should do is kindly excuse myself. Which I did by making up that I had to hurry and get my daughter to dance practice.I checked out without getting the rest of the items I'd gone in there for.

For the rest of the day I couldn't get what this lady had said to me out of my mind. After I got the kids to bed and was rocking my baby to sleep, I thought about my younger days.

Yes, there was ONE YEAR in Jr. high that I made a few bad choices, but had long since made peace about them with the Big Man upstairs. In high school, I did have a steady boyfriend that I married. I mean yeah, I did stupid things with a few of my friends like t-p the Biology teacher a few times, but really who hasn't toilet papered someones house before. I never partied because I was on the drill team, a cheerleader, or played on the school softball team and had random weekly drug tests. I worked or had dance class every night of the week so I didn't have any time to do anything. But, I ended up a teen mom though, so maybe that was what she meant. I did marry the father of my baby and he is wonderful. In my honest opinion, the best. And for his back ground? What, that he didn't grow up in the church makes him a lost cause? I don't think so. He is very faithful and honest in his daily doings and in his marriage. 

After going through this mental list, I couldn't understand what was so "wild" about me or what I did. I realized whatever she thought I did didn't matter, because in my eyes I wasn't wild. This just showed me that there are still some very judgmental people.

I consider myself a very religious person and this judgement that was being held over me bothered me. I hope that you all know I DON'T judge anyone. It's not my place nor my right and I'm very thankful for that. I think what make a person good or bad is how they treat the ones they are around and their honesty. There are people who have done bad things to themselves and others. I'm not going to go out of my way and be friends with them. I'll be kind when I come into direct contact with them but I'm not going to look at them and think that there's no hope for them. I'll let our Maker do that.

So, what I guess I'm saying is I don't give two hoots what you think of me because I know what kind of a person I am. And that is what counts to me.    


Ben Spendlove said...

So true. People judge wrongly the other way, too. "I can't understand it. He seemed like such a nice boy."

Marybeth said...

The things people say...(I guess some people are missing a filter). When I think about Laci Lewis in high school I remember that you were always nice to everyone. I also remember you and Jesse cruising around in his convertible (wasn't it red?) We always thought he was so cool. She was right about one thing--you are a great mom!
People say dumb things. Blow it off. You are awesome. My mom thinks so too :)

Julie W said...

Yes, she does! It's interesting how some people are so small minded. I can't imagine why anyone would think those things, let alone say them to someone. Don't let her affect the way you feel about yourself. That would be a tragedy. I'm glad you took the higher road, but I'm sorry it caused you a moment's worth of discomfort or self-doubt. You are one of my heroes.

Laci said...

So Laci won't tell me who this lady is. All I have to say to this older judgemental lady is. The next time you have a thought,let it go and save yourself the embarrassment

Laci said...

Jessie (the one with the rough background) made the comment about the old judgemental lady. Sorry Lace you will probably be judged for my comment on your name.

Raree said...

hahaha (that's for Jess's comments) I never cease to be amazed by the crazy things people say. I mean, I don't want to judge her b/c I imagine I've said some crazy things too w/o realizing it . . . but wow. You are amazing!