Birthday Bike Ride

The past few birthdays for my oldest son haven't had many party guest, like zero. It was heartbreaking to see him have to be in the bounce house or bowl alone. I mean his siblings,  aunts, uncle and grandparents were there but no friends or peers. This year he had only asked for one thing. A bike ride.

I casually put out on my Facebook status about his wish and openly invited anyone who wanted to join his family on the bike ride to come.

Unknown to me, some JV football players found out about it and asked a few of their teammates to join in. The only problem is it was during their practice.  They asked their coach if they would be able to leave practice early so they could attend.  Well, the coach said yes and tasked the rest of the teams to join as well.

On his birthday,  6:30 rolled around and our culdisac filled with bikes. All three teams (freshman,  JV,  and varsity) showed up on bikes, scooters,  or on foot, along with countless adults, friends,  and neighbors. Over 100 people showed up!  Some girls brought him some balloons and a gift.  The football team presented him with a team hat and shirt, a few others gave him his favorite snacks, treats, and trinkets.  A special family showed up dressed like his favorite characters,  Scooby-Doo and even drove over in a Mystery Machine.

When we took off for the ride around our half mile loop, the road was completely packed with bikes. Seth was in complete heaven. His dad and I hadn't seen him this happy, ever. It was overwhelming,  Amazingly heartwarming.  Overjoyed to say the least, but most of all extremely happy.

Seth loves to go to school now.  These kids go out of their way to say hi to him or give him a high five. It makes him feel so included and part of the guys.

These kids have no idea how much this simple bike ride meant to Seth. They made his whole day, year actually.
 

Seth's 2013 Best Memory

I asked Seth what was one of his favorite memory about last year. He looked up at me, eyes excited, and raised his finger, "Football!" He yelled.

Yes, that was a fun few months of football. Even though it was his younger brother, Dom, playing Seth enjoyed it just as much. He loved going to each practice and watching the boys run plays, drills, and hits! The head coach allowed Seth to participate by being a "helper," which mainly consisted of him being a manager, standing by the coaches at the sidelines, echoing the players the coaches yelled (good thing they watched their language), and high giving the boys when they came in for a huddle. Seth made sure he took a cooler of water to each game (with the help of his dad). 

On his birthday, the team presented him with a team logo football that they all signed. Seth still to this day sleeps with it. Then on the last game of the season, the head coach had a surprise for Seth. Coach arranged with the officials and opposing team to have Seth run in a goal during a dead all play. Oh, the tears! I bawled... Happy tears. The boys readied as if it were a regular play, snapped the ball to Seth and huddled around him (nobody was going to break that line to hurt their Seth) and ushered him across the goal line! The smile on Seth's face had never been bigger! The opposing team all highfived or patted Seth on the back while ours cheered along side of him. Best play of the season I say!

Living in a Small Town

This past week we had an other assesment about our children who have disabilities. This time it was with a state affiliated office. Let me tell you, those tests are grueling because for each question there are three parts to each answer. Each child's assesment takes about two hours. 

The guy interviewing us about the assesment was kind and helpful so that did help. His office accommodating to each of the children's needs. He was understanding when Paisley got overwhelmed by something and had to dust his office with his tissues while we talked. He explained how her OCD affected her and how her having dyslexia as well as FXS and an autism spectrum fight against each other. Yet, he was amazed at how she at only 7 years old has learned to cope and self soothe to the point you can't automatically see she is affected by something.

Then it came time for Seth. We had to go into detail about his issues, especially the behavior. The aggression is our biggest concern right now. During that discussion of the assesment, I had to decide the seriousness of the behavior. The choices to pick ranged from not serious to extremely seriouse, each helping by giving definitions to each answer. The definitions were determand and on how I feel others react or how it affects the public when they see such behavior.

When I answered the first few, the gentalman stopped and looked at the scars on my arms. He then asked me to take him step by step through what typically happens and why I didn't think it was a big deal. I did what he asked and told him I didn't think it was a big deal because I deal with this everyday, some days not as big as others. But it has become normal to me. He asked me to really think about the ansewrs and pointed out the differences between what I thought the situation was and what it really was. I was saying they weren't that seriouse and at most moderately. My reasoning is because of how the public, here in Preston, reacts to Seth's meltdowns and even when he gets "violent". The definitions were, the actions are annoying, cause others to look and wounder what is going on but the disturbance doesn't stop the others from competing tasks, or on the moderate answer that Seth would need to be removed so others can go about without causing a disturbance that is distracting. And we were answering on everything else except for the times when Seth is going to school because those actions are isolated to school. 

I had to stop and really think about all of the reactions I get here in Preston, Idaho. 

My eyes filled with tears at this point. I explained that there has only been a few times where I felt, by the tests definition, that there was a serious problem with Seth in public. This community doesn't shun, make fun, or be rude to Seth. These people, in Preston, are excepting of him, his issues, and when they see him breakdown, they don't point, whisper, or say mean things. They except him for HIM! They love him. It's when we go out of the area, even as close as Logan or Pocatello, we see the difference in how others see the issues. 

Seth walks home from school, by himself. And I know if he ventures off the path of his route I will get a phone call. Our neighborhood knows that Seth's walk home from school his his one thing he does with out a parent by his side. That is his one thing he does indepenantly, as independent for him because pretty much all the houses he walks past watch out for him. 

The gentalman was stunned in a way. He couldn't believe how accepting this community is. He asked how the police react to Seth. I told him the same way. They know he isn't a danger to others, unless he is riding his bike down the highway. I didn't add that part, that can be between us. When I told him we lived here, a light went on. He said he had a few others he assessed from here and heard the same thing. He told us that is rare to find a community as a whole that accepting. We finished up the appointment by having us think of reactions in other places and at the end of the test I wanted to get back home. 

I hear others say they hate Preston. They may have their reasons and that is fine but I love it here. Yes, it is an out of the way place. I have to travel kind of far to really shop. Everyone does know what I am doing, but I also put it out there. I feel safe here. I can let my disabled children outside to play. And, when Seth does run off, it happends, I don't get judged as being a neglectful parent for letting my kid get out of my sight. I mean, think about it if you just thought, "wait, I haven't lost my child and needed to call the cops before. That is bad parenting." 

Do you have to keep a constant eye on your kids? No, not like what I am talking about. You can leave the room and go to the bathroom, throw in a batch of laundry, load the dishwasher, take a shower and not worry your child will walk out of the house and into the road. Your child might know that is dangerouse. Mine doesn't. I have to keep a constant eye and it's not humanly possible. I have to sleep, shower, and take bathroom breaks too. It's during those times they would get out and I wouldn't know. Thankfully, we only had to call the police twice. Everything turned out to be okay, and we were lucky. Lucky, that the police knew us and understand the situation. That is because this is an awesome place to live. I have a little joke  I always tell someone that asks how long I've lived here and it is, I was born, raised, and hopefully will die here. I love it here. 

DING!

Summer vacation was almost at an end and I had been growing braver at letting Seth have more independence with going around the neighborhood. Usually, I would be in the front yard pulling weeds or what not but be able to keep a close eye on him. But, this time I stayed inside the house and let him go out... Little did he know, I was watching him from the upstairs windows while he ventured between neighboring yards. An hour or so past and I called him back in.

Seth didn't answer, nor could I hear his humming. Great, I take my eyes off of him for less than five minutes and he is gone. I open my garage door and thought, hmmm, maybe he is just around the corner and I don't have to drive the car to get him.

Barefooted, I ease my way to the corner to look for him. Nope. Not there. On my way back, I saw the little stinker sneak into the open garage and get on his bike. I met him in the drive way and he looked at me with the biggest puppy dog eyes, "Please?"

Awh! I am such a softy! I let him ride it around. He had gotten better and usually stayed on our street and in the culdisac. USUALLY. I got distracted by another one of my kids that needed a diaper change. It hadn't been more than a few minutes, I mean how long does it take to change a messy bum? When my phone rings and it was a teacher at the middle school telling me Seth is ridding his bike down the street.

What?!?! Apparently the time it takes to get to the school from my house on a bike is the same amount as wiping a baby's bum! I loaded the kids in the truck and headed out to pick up Seth and his bike.  I guess Seth remembered that ridding down the highway brought the cops because he stayed on the side streets. Thank heavens! Well, Seth wanted to ride the bike home so I followed along side ( more of a racing style with me revving the engine. Yeah, I am a dork like that) all the way back to our street.

Seth was having a blast. I noticed sweat dripping down the side of his face so I back off to let him slow down and not over heat himself. Wrong thing to do! He got mad, flipped his bike around, and took off at full speed. Let me tell you those three wheeled bikes can haul!

I turned around and sped up about three or four houses in front of him. I positioned the truck so it would cut him off and he would have to stop. I got out of the truck and waited for him. Seth was coming at me full speed. He was now only 2 houses away. I yelled out, "Seth, stop or you will hit the truck."

Seth's eyes are huge at this point and I guess seeing the truck parked sideways across the road made him freeze because this kid wasn't braking. All of a sudden, CRASH. The bike stopped.

Seth was okay, the bike was okay. The truck..... Not okay.

I loaded the bike in the bed of the truck and walked back to Seth who starined at the driver door and front side panel. He looked at me then points to the truck. "Dad! Mad!"

There was a huge scratch down the side. I let him know, he wouldn't get into trouble, I would. He smiledand said, "okay."  Hey, thanks for having my back kiddo.

So, I need some touch up paint, because these scratches weren't here when Jess left for work.

Police Escort

Our Sunday afternoon started out pretty calm as we ventured out for some family time. The three older kids on the bikes with Jess and I pushing Riot in the stroller. Half way through, Seth sped up leaving us about 20 yards behind. Dom caught up to him so Seth wouldn't be alone. Earlier, before we had left the driveway we had strongly stressed to the kids that they were to stay on the side of the road and only go around the neighborhood loop. Not too worried about there being any problems because this was our normal route.

Jess and I sped up our pace to a  jog while Paisley peddled her bike to keep up. We watched as the two boys became small figures down the street that connected to a highway. As we came closer we noticed what looked like someone joyriding down the middle lane. YEP! That was our son, Seth. happy as a lark, weaving through traffic.

Our hearts sank and we booked after him. Dom, sped toward us, panicking. He told us he didn't know what to do when Seth took off in the road. He told us he'd stayed on the sidewalk and kept yelling at Seth as the cars whizzed by honking at him. I assured Dom he did nothing wrong and it was good he'd stayed out of the road.

Meanwhile, Jess got Seth to safety and we got back on the side road that led home. Again Seth sped ahead, but headed home. Jess took off through the ball diamonds that separated us from our house to get his motorcycle to coax Seth the right way.

Well, wouldn't you know it, just as Jess leaves, a cop drives by. Seth saw him too and turned around, so did the cop. I was able to stop Seth and the cop got out and told me a few calls had come in about him riding his bike down the middle of the highway.

Yeah, there I am, all four kids, and my husband had flown the coop. Seth knows that when a police officer gets out of his car, it's most likely not good. He started to bawl. I mean, breakdown, biggest of melt downs, bawl.

On the inside I go into panic mode thinking, "How am I going to get all the kids with their bikes, the baby in his stroller, and a melting down Seth home in one piece, with a cop watching?!?! I'm going to get my kids taken away for sure."

I explain to the cop how Seth got away. Thankfully this cop knows us and is being very kind. But, I am also thinking I'm going to get in trouble some how. The cop smiles and asks what he can do to help me.

He ended up taking the baby and Paisley in the cop car and loading the stroller and bike in the trunk. Dom and I tried to help Seth get back on his bike to get home. Well, Seth is still freaking out. I totally understood, A COP IS FOLLOWING US. Like creeping behind us. I laughed. I shouldn't have but I did. I knew why Seth was flipping.

One of his favorite movies is Monster House. The kids in the show get into trouble and the cops do the same thing, inch behind them. But, those kids end up getting eaten by a house. So, I totally got why he was a little stressed.

The officer noticed too and had Seth get in the back seat of the car. This is where it gets even better. I guess the neighborhood thought it would be great to go for a walk at this same time. Well, they all got to see the cop load my son in the back seat. Jess showed up at this time on his motorcycle as well. Good timing hun. Miss all the dirty work.

Jess got escorted home by the cop with kids inside and Dom and me riding the peddle bikes behind them. Dom kept saying, "Wow, it's like our family is a parade!"

Yeah, that's us. Never a dull moment!

 

 

Pretty Awesome!

Hello everyone! I have two announcements to make, one big and one not as big but still makes me happy.

First the big! This Saturday (yes, tomorrow) two of my children, Dom and Paisley, are having a lemonade stand up at Stokes Marketplace's parking lot from 11-2 and get a cold cup of lemonade. This isn't just a regular lemonade stand and this is why...

A few weeks back Dom came to me pretty upset. At recess a kid teased (I'll be nice and call it that) Dominic about his older brother, Seth, and called him a very hurtful word that starts with "R". Dom and I talked for a few minutes and he calmed down. Later that night he asked if he could make a YouTube video to tell his point of view towards his brothers and sister. With the help of my sister-in-law, Dom made his video.


Just days later Dom and Paisley wanted to find a way to earn money, actually work, so they could help buy their brother a specially adapted bike for Seth. I had to support them in this. What kids come to their parents and ASK to WORK for money? Then not want to use the money for themselves but get their brother something that would make him happy. I'd say some pretty awesome and unselfish kids, that's who.

The two asked the grocery store manager if they could use the parking lot and gained permission. I posted the event on Facebook and bought ingredients to make some juice. Well, the events invited grew to over 1000 in two days and so far over 100 people have replied to come. We made another trip to the store and bought some more lemonade.

A local newspaper contacted me a few days after the Facebook post and asked to run the story. This brings us to the second announcement. The editor of Cache Magazine allowed me to write the article. I'm published! Here is the link to the write up in Cache Magazine.

So there you have it.

If you get thirsty tomorrow, I hear it's going to be in the high 80's, come up and get a cup of lemonade.

I miss those warm summer days when you could just take a nap outside. Glad my son could enjoy it.

My Life As A Movie Scene

We had an moment right out of the movies last night here at our house. Who knew my favorite Holiday flick would come even closer to my heart. Only this particular scene isn't one you'd really like to relive. I've always loved A Christmas Story and it felt like the writer had hid out at my house while growing up and took notes for the film. Amazingly my life still plays out like the show only this time my role is the mother instead of Ralphy.

I made a delicious roast yesterday. Mouth watering, moist, flavorful roast perfect for french dip sandwiches today. After I took the meat out of the roaster, I packed it away in the fridge to soak up the Ague sauce all night. Bedtime rolled around and I came down stairs to gather the kidlings up to bed. What did I find on the counter? The Tupperware container, EMPTY! The patio door was open and I heard Seth laughing. I ran to find my dog and cat chowing down on the roast. Yes, I cried, but it probably sounded more like a scream of horror. My husband followed my wail and it happened. He said it. That famous line from the movie. "Sons a *****'s!"

SO, tonight's dinner was fed to the dog. We won't be going to the Chinese restaurant like the movie characters did though. We will most likely be feasting on something more like I don't know, cold cereal.

"PAMPAS'S!" 

***don't worry, we didn't yell any "bad words" at my child nor called him any. We love him and now laugh at this whole thing.***

A Good Day

I love the good days with my son. Lately we’ve had so many I forget how the bad days are. This past weekend there was a bad day. My husband went hunting and Seth absolutely loves hunting. Well, Seth didn’t get to go because my husband wanted a chance on his own to try and bag a deer. Understandable, when hunting with kids, all you are really doing is pushing the animals in a hundred yard radius away.

That morning Seth watched his dad load up the truck and leave. He waited at the living room window all day, watching for the truck to return. In between the visual wait, he would take his toy gun and pretend the front room was the forest crouching behind the couch and taking his careful aim at his deer/ my coffee table. By noon, Seth couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted his dad and he wanted to go hunting. An outburst beyond outburst accrued. Thankfully my mother-in-law was here and able to help. After a while, he settled down and life went back to normal.

Seth had surgery the other day and all went well. Though he did get pretty loopy after. He’s been good ever since, but it’s only been two days. This morning while getting ready for school, he got ready and put his shoes on without ANY help. He gave me a big hug before he went to school and whispered in my ear, “Mom.” He does this little thing that might look like nothing special to anyone else, but has a huge meaning to those who know. He holds his fingers like he’s pinching sand and will act like he is putting it in your palm. Seth has seen this on a move. (Its part of his “spirit” that he is leaving with you while he is gone. He picked this up on his own, don’t know why it stuck with him, but it did. I love it.) And today, he did it to me as he walked away from me.

I love you buddy.

I Get It

I'm no longer the cool, fun mom. This morning I handed Seth his clothes for school. He got dressed and came in the bathroom to brush his teeth. His shirt had the Boise State Bronco on the front of it. He's been watching Spirit lately so I pointed to the logo and said, "Cool Seth! It's Spirit." Then proceeded to whinny like a horse. Well, that did it.

"No!" said Seth while simultaneously taking off the shirt and flinging it on the bed. He stomped back to his room and reemerged wearing a Tony Hawk tee. I opened my mouth to say it was a nice shirt he'd picked, but Seth held up his hand to stop me before the first word could exit my mouth. He said, "Stop."

Well, okay. I get the idea. Even though his vocabulary is small. He gets his point of view across. And today it was Mom-if-you-like-it-I-don't. Even though he has Fragile X and Autism, Seth still acts like a preteen.
  

A Bad Morning

It was an interesting morning when I dropped off Seth for Summer school. He had been great all morning and couldn't wait to go on their field trip to the dog groomers. As we were pulling up to the curb, a few teenagers rode up on their bikes for drivers ed. and it set Seth off. See, the day before the class had gone bike ridding with Common Ground. Seth loves to ride his bike. Well, long story short, he wanted to get on the bikes and a fit settled in.

Some of you know his fits aren't the typical child tantrum. His are the equivalent of  a fight with a raging tiger. I got him settled down enough to get him up the stairs when one of the helpers from his class noticed our scuffle. She came over and grabbed Seth. I warned her not to put any of her body, especially her arms or hands in front of him or he would bite. What she do? Wrapped her arm around his mouth. Yep, CLAMP! Teeth sunk in.

I managed to release Seth's mouth from the ladies flesh but not before she screamed at me. I apologised and we got him into the class room. Guess what? She did it again. The teacher brought over a toy to distract Seth and calm him down. But, it also brought all the other kids over to the toy too. Before I could get the toy pulled further away out of Seth's bubble. He grabbed a kid and dug him. The teacher made me feel like crap by showing me what Seth had done to the kid and aid. I know what he did and I do feel bad for them and I was trying to prevent it but nobody would listen to me.

Thankfully, the aids that are familiar with Seth and knows how to work with him came in. He settled down and hopefully will stay that way. Can I just tell you all Autism sucks. It's a mean disability that really pisses me off. It takes over my son and hides him behind this violent meanness, because on the good days Seth is the best of kids and I know that's what he's really like. A good kid.

So on that note; you hear me Autism?!?! You suck! 

What Would You Do?

This summer has finally come (weather wise anyway), and I thought I would be a good mom and let my 7-year-old-son invite a friend over. He rarely is able to have friends over because of my oldest son and his autism. I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. He is my height and 100 pounds. He wants to play with his brother and friend. But, brother and friend want to run the neighborhood like little boys do. My 10-year old (Seth) RUNS!! and runs very fast. I can't catch him. Plus, I just had a baby and feedings are still taking place every two hours.

Anyways, back to the story. The friend came over and as usual they were coming in and out to play. When they would go out, Seth would hang on the door and cry, he wanted to go with them. So, after the fourth time I loaded the baby in the stroller and off we went on the bikes. Yeah, I ran. A LOT! Boy, I'm so out of shape. Seth actually did really well and stayed with the boys on the freaking MILE bike ride. He even came home like he was suppose to without a fight.

It was later that broke my heart. The boys wanted to play with just them, no Seth. So, outside they went and locked the door. The look on Seth face made my heart weep. I felt so bad because I couldn't go out to keep him where he was suppose to be and I couldn't tell the boys "Sorry, you have to be bored and stay in the back yard". (Well I could but didn't.) Seth sat by me while I was feeding the baby and whimpered "play" over and over.

What do I do? This is why we don't have my younger son have friends over. I feel bad that he always has to go over to everyone else's houses but it's just not fair to leave Seth out. Really? Am I doing the right thing?  

Oh Where, Oh Where Have ALL My Clothes Gone?

Some of you may know the issue we've been having with son #1. He's in training to become the next Hulk Hogan or a Chip and Dale dancer, one of the two, who knows but hopefully the first. He is getting really good at ripping the clothes off too. Faster than I can stop him. I'll be doing something and I'll hear that first *rip* and start charging toward him in hopes to saving the article of clothing. We found that Shopko has the KID TOUGH guarantee and are taking full advantage of it.

Well, lately I've been noticing my clothes have been disappearing. I recently had a baby and yes the laundry does seem to stay in piles for a few days but I catch up on the weekends. Anyway, I seriously couldn't find a lot of my clothes. Well, last night I found what has been happening to them.

My laundry pile for my husband and myself is in our bathroom, next to the toilet. Are you following me? If you've read this blog before you might know what is coming next. Just put two and two together. Yep! I found him ripping my clothes and FLUSHING them! GOOD HEAVENS, YES! Down the tube they've been going.

So, that's my life this week. I'll be getting a shopping trip soon.

Listen

Our SUV turned the corner by my father-in-law's shop a few blocks away from our house. I spotted his camper, aka Minnie Winnie, parked out front. An overwhelming feeling deep in my chest told me to slow down. I hesitated on doing so because I knew my autistic son has an obsession with the camper. Seth feels like he’s driving a bus. When we go camping he spends hours upon hours playing in the front seat.

This feeling grew stronger as we passed the front of the shop. I wasn’t speeding but the intensity of the prompting was overwhelming. Seth freaked out and pointed at the Minnie Winnie screaming, “Stop! Stop!”

I slowed our speed to a crawl knowing it would only irate Seth. Leaving him to think I might stop and when I didn’t things could turn very ugly. With our wheels moving only 10 MPH the unthinkable happened. Seth threw open his door and jumped out.

Did you know at 10 miles an hour you can skid your tires when you slam on the brakes? I found out you can. I bailed out after him and found him running back to the shop, headed right for the Minnie Winnie.

A cuss word slipped out of my innocent mouth as I slide back behind the wheel, flipped a u-turn, and pulled into the shop. Seth on the other hand was in total bliss. He had his camper and not a scratch on him.

My father-in law witnessed the show and was shaking at about the same tempo as myself. I swear, this kid is going to put me into pre-term labor. It makes me sick to think about what would have happened if I hadn’t listened to that feeling and slowed down.

Kids School Projects?

Ever notice when your kids have school projects you end up doing them? Yep, we just had one of those. My autistic son didn’t really have to do it, but he wanted to. I‘m a sucker for letting him do whatever the other kids his age are doing, (meaning; scouts, sports, and school stuff. I’m not that cool of a mom).
This project was his fourth grade Idaho History point project. Out of a list of like 100 things to do, he wanted to make a log cabin out of pretzel sticks. YAY, just what I wanted to do. *insert sarcasm* But, we did it! I cut out the frame with cardboard and Seth glued the sticks on like siding. After 2 hours we were finished, well all but the roof.

I’m kinda a perfectionist when it comes to crafty things, hence why there are an absence of them in my home. I wanted to have a roof look “realistic”. So a bright idea popped in my head. BEEF JERKY! The big wide sheets of it. It worked and looked awesome.

With the roof on, we got to looking at it. There was a big gap all the way around where the ceiling meets the walls. Seth (this is the part where he takes after me) grabbed some cotton balls and put over it, like snow. So we put the cotton around the cabins bottom too. Seth even made a pretzel deer to stand out side the cabin. See, he’s my son.

All in all, it was a good project, but I’m so glad the school system likes to make the parents work too. That said, the next project he wants to do is make a real wooden pioneer bench. YE-AH…. Dad, you get to help with that one.

An Awesome Neighbor

When we were looking at neighborhoods to build our house, we narrowed it down to three. Country Club Estates had the luxury of living on the back green of the only golf coarse in town and the name just sounded high class. Creamy Hollow Estates had a lot of new families and the location had a great view of the East mountains and valley, and last but not least was Oakwood Estates. It was located directly behind the school, close to town and the neighborhood was populated with growing families. The only draw back, the lots were close together.
With that in mind we sat down and sorted out our options. Each had their pros and cons but something kept pulling us back to Oakwood. Something about it felt right. We made our choice and broke ground on our new home. 5 years later, I couldn’t be happier with our decision.

Yesterday proved yet another reason why we made the right choice. Seth snuck out of the back door and ran off. I didn’t even hear him get out. He figured out the one door that doesn’t have an alarm on it and slowly unlocked, opened, and then closed it without making a sound.

How did I find out he was running wild down the middle of the road? By an awesome neighbor (Nicole Martin)*cough cough* who understands and knows if Seth is alone outside, it’s not alright. This awesome neighbor got in her van and drove down to notify this scatter brained mother (Me) that her son was on the loose. (I was curling my daughter’s hair for her dance recital and like mentioned before, Houdini snuck out.)

While awesome neighbor was telling me about Seth, another amazing neighbor came to let me know he had been caught, tagged and on route back home.

I will be installing an alarm to that door A.S.A. P.!

Yes, I felt very stupid and neglectful as my role of a parent. But awesome neighbor was sincerer and understanding. Thank you Nicole and I’m glad to have you around.

It's Something Special

I get asked how I can stay so happy and so positive while having two children with disablilites. My first answer is, "Why wouldn't I be happy?"

I know it's not proper to answer a question with a question. Well, don't you want your child to grow up as happy as they could? No matter what kind of personalities they have you plan to make the best life for them. Yes, I admit. It is hard sometimes but isn't being a parent, period, hard?

The best way I can explaine what it's like to be a parent in my situation is with one of my favorite poems.

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

My way Home

The television didn’t stay on a channel longer than four seconds as my husband surfed through the 400 stations of satellite entertainment. Out of frustration, he stopped on a show I was particularly fond of.

“There’s nothing on,” he said and tossed me the remote. I tucked the remote under my leg and finished folding laundry into piles.

A few towels later, a phrase that always made me laugh, played from the movie; “….smashing in the face of a piñata that resembles Summer Wheatley, is a disgrace to the whole Gem State…..” (I snorted, because sadly, I’ve actually heard a teacher say this before).

Our nine year old ran down the stairs and joined in on the final scenes of our hometown movie. (I think he is a bigger fan than me.) The final scene played and Seth popped up off the couch and pointed at the screen.
“Home! My home,” he said.

My husband and I laughed, because yes, in the background of the movie was our house. And, the scene was filmed at the elementary school next to us. I thought it was pretty cool that an autistic boy recognized his way home even from a silly movie.

Click here to see the scene Seth recognized his home.

I Can Still See You

A tall brown haired boy flipped on the kitchen light. His mother followed him to the counter and poured him a bowl of cereal. She gave her son his breakfast and kissed the top of his head. It’s five o’clock in the morning and she couldn’t help smirk at how even the sun got to sleep in. Yet, she's up and starting her day.
The little boy snarffed down his Fruit Loops, bounced across the room, humming, and flapping his hands together with out a care in the world. His name is Seth and he has two disabilities; Autism and Fragile X Syndrome.

Seth put in his favorite DVD of Harry Potter. While waiting for the player to load, the family dog entered the room and licked Seth’s face. His mother loved the sound of the giggle Seth let out because it wasn't any giggle, but a contagious belly jumping laugh.

Suddenly, he remembered the movie but something is wrong. The DVD wasn’t playing. He tried restarting it, but it just wouldn’t work. Seth’s face wrinkled up and big tears rolled down his cheeks. He turned to his mom and uttered one word from his very small vocabulary.

“Help.”

His mom opened the tray and out slid the disc. She picked it up and found it covered in sticky finger prints. After cleaning it off, her heart sank. A crack ran all the way across the center of the DVD. Clean or sticky, it would never play. Mom returned to Seth to break the bad news.

“Seth, I’m sorry but this can’t play anymore.” His mom held up the disc. “Look at this right here. See, it’s broke.”

He didn’t understand and cried again, this time flopping down on the couch. Mom turned around to go back into the kitchen. Seth saw his shoes on the floor next to him and grabbed them.

The next thing his mom knew, something hit the back of her head. She grabbed the shoe from Seth’s hand. After a few minutes, her arms are bloody from trying to calm him down. Something shinny caught the mom’s attention from under the couch. She pulled out another copy of the movie.

Puzzled of how it even got there and where it had come from, she put it into the player. The movie started with out any problems.

Seth immediately calmed down and realized what he had done to his mother. His eyes filled with tears. Seth tenderly blew on the scratches, dig marks, and bites that covered his mom’s arms.

The movie’s theme music started to play as his big green eyes, still filled with tears, looked back at his mom. Kissing her cheek, he said, “Sorry,” and wrapped his arms around her.

“Seth, I love you too.”

This mother knows that even on the hard days when the Autism takes over, her little boy is still behind those green eyes struggling to understand his frustrations. So in those moments when he looks at her, she lets him know she can still see him.

First round of treatments at Primary Children's

We took Seth down to Primary Children's hospital to do treatment with his Autism. As we got there he found a very special someone waiting for him. He ran up to him and squealed,

"SPIR-MAN!"
He was pretty excited to have seen him, but we wont tell him it was only a statue.
After the treatments and counseling with the doctor, we let Seth play in the water fountain. It had been a long day and Seth had cooperated very nicely with everything the doctor had asked him to do.

These fountains are way neat. We are putting in a pond and some fountains in our back yard for Seth and we are thinking something along this design might be what we will do.

At this point in time, rush hour traffic was emerging and we didn't want to hit it so we needed to kill some time. Seth was very calm and behaving so well, we stopped at Temple square and walked around for an hour. Seth loved this statue and kept starting in awe at him and at the walls around him pointing out the earth, clouds, and moon.

By this time, we all were getting a bit hungry and stopped off for a bite to eat. Seth was amazing at the restaurant, eating all his food and not once running around. Now we only have to repeat this trip once a month for a while, only I think we are going to have to find some other sites to check out. We loved temple square, but Seth can only handle so much of a good thing. Any idea's, please comment to let us know of any.