Monday, December 3, 2012

Looking At Life With New Eyes

Holy cow, I finally have a moment to sit down and write this. When I had my last baby my regular doctor told me during my c-section he noticed that my insides were a mess and nothing like he had ever seen before. I should go and see a specialist to check it out. Well, I thought, yeah it can wait. So a little over a year it did, but gradually every month my stomach would get more painful to touch, move, lay on, anything. The pressure almost felt like I had a baby still inside my belly. I’d had enough and made an appointment to see the specialist, thinking it was going to be a bad case of endometriosis.

The appointment came and tests were ran. While sitting in the room the doctor came in and told me I did in fact have endometriosis, but he noticed something alarming. The scar tissue had been hiding a massive tumor that was growing around my uterus and connecting everything together. As in, my abdominal wall was now part of my uterus, bladder, liver, kidneys, lungs, intestines, and bowel. He sat down and gave me the surgical options, all risky because of how much cutting would need to take place, I could bleed to death, or one of those organs could be punctured.

First things first we had a biopsy done to make sure the tumor wasn’t cancer. Those were the longest two weeks of my life waiting for the results. I didn’t sleep or eat. If I did eat I threw up. I cried all the time, thought about what would my husband do, my kids. Would they remember me if I died? I looked at my life and reevaluated everything, wanting every moment I could to spend with my family, husband, and children. I didn’t care about material things anymore. All that mattered was the time I had.

I remember the day the call came back from the doctor’s office. The sun was bright, Riot was in his highchair eating eggs. I was sitting at the table watching his little mouth move around as he chewed. Trying to imprint every detail of his face to memory. I looked at the number on the screen and hesitated to answer. After thee rings I pushed the button and heard the news. The tumor was benign, but fast growing and needed to come out as soon as possible or it would in other words smother my organs. The nurse paused and said, “You need to pay for half of this up front though. Can you bring in the $6000 this week?”

“No,” I whispered. “That is way more then we have saved up. Let me call you back after I t figure out how to pay for this.”

“We can’t go any further with out the payment.”

We hung up.

Two major emotions ran through me. Relief, it wasn’t cancer. Helplessness, I couldn’t pay for the surgery up front. I put my head on the table and cried for I don’t know how long.

I asked one of my friends who worked at a hospital what should I do. She mentioned a doctor who was very good and would work with patents who didn’t have insurance. I made some phone calls and set up an appointment with this doctor. He asked to see my file before hand as well.

We met with this new doctor and form the moment we started talking we knew this was the right way to go. He had me do another scan and found the tumor had grown more. We set the surgery date.

All went well, the only hiccup was the surgery went longer than expected. I’m so glad to have this over with and on the mend. Through out all of this, I found I have a great family and friends. They all were amazing and helped me out so much. I couldn’t have gotten through this with out you.

Friday, November 2, 2012

I know, SLACKER!

Yes, I called myself out. I promise, I'll get you all updated on what has been going on. One of the sidetracks has been an interview deadline for the other blog I write for called Pots 'N Pens. I really wanted to make sure I gave it my full attetntion since my attenton can only last a few minutes with th e pain meds I'm taking from my surgery. SURGERY you ask. I know, long story that I will update you on in a few days. For now go on over to Pots 'N Pens to check out my interview with lead singer of ROYAL BLISS, NEAL MIDDLETON!


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Pots 'N Pens

I'm blogging over on Pots 'N Pens today with a yummy treat. Go check it out and look for an update about what has happened in my chaos. Wow, way too much. You know that saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Yeah, well I'm could win Mrs. Freaking Ironman for life after this. See you all later.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012


A few weeks back we took the kids to the zoo. They had a blast. It was so much fun seeing Riot's reaction to the animals. His favorite were the giraffes and tigers, of kitties as he called them. Seth freaked out when he saw the bears and the polar bear swimming around. Paisley fell in love the the seals and sea lions. Dom liked it all and said it was too much fun to pick one.

We goofed off at the drinking fountain and acted like it was eating us. Even Jess joined in on the laughs at how the kids were loving the carousel. I love these kinds of memories.

A bunch of monkeys watching a bunch of monkeys.

AHHHH! It's gunna eat us!

Dom showing Riot the elephants.


This was a lucky shot. The seal swam by just as the photo snapped.

The bears, the bears!

Riot kept calling, "Kitty kitty." Seth told him, "No, kitty." and showed him they grawl. Riot now rawrs at cats.

Seth and his wolf.

Not too happy to be in this photo.

Jess' attempt at a family photo. Close.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Seth's New Bike

I just realized I never updated about the kids' lemonade stand. If you are a Facebook friend then you have read this but for those that aren't here you go! It was a successes. HUGE! They had people come from as far as Brigham City and numerous others from Cache Valley as well ad our own area here in Franklin County. Dom and Paisley were so grateful for the support and turn out, meeting well beyond their goal of $400.

The two worked very hard and sold over 1,600 cups of lemonade and dozens upon dozens of baked goods. All within 4 hours. That night we had Seth pick the bike he wanted. The only set back, the company only made the model he liked in blue. Though out this time the only request Seth asked for was the bike to be the color green.

Two very nice Facebook friends instantly offered they knew of two guys, Kevin and Derek Atkinson, that would paint the bike the perfect color for Seth. When we told Seth his bike was going to be green, he smiled and shouted,"Green!"
The bike came and was painted. When we picked up the painted parts, Seth couldn't stop smiling. He couldn't wait to get home and put the bike together.

Finally the time had come to ride. Seth smile was contagious to anyone who saw it. I'll admit, I cried seeing him so happy. Dom and Paisley jumped on their bikes and took off along side him. After they got back, they both told Jess and I that selling lemonade was the best thing ever and they would do it again just to see their brother that happy.

They finally get to ride all together again.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

First Day of School!

School started today and it couldn't have come at a better time. The kids were starting to bicker non-stop. They were even getting excited to start a new year. We'll see how long the excitement lasts as the homework gets sent home and strict bedtime of 8pm. Seth wouldn't let me get a photo of him today so you only get to see the two middle kids. And, I'm lucky to have gotten Dom. I had to howler at him to come back after he rode off on his bike. You'll see how much he loves getting his photo taken below. Such a boy. Hey, can't blame him. I HATE getting my picture taken as well.

Dom first day of 4th grade. And apparently it's no longer cool for mom's pictures.

Paisley's first day of 1st grade. I can't believe how big she is getting!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Snack Time

Having a snack on the kitchen floor. All is well and calm.

Seconds after I take the picture...Seriously!


Hey mom! It's fun to scatter these around with my hands! Notice behind him Paisley thinks this is hilarious.

And it just get better...


Friday, June 1, 2012

Pretty Awesome!

Hello everyone! I have two announcements to make, one big and one not as big but still makes me happy.

First the big! This Saturday (yes, tomorrow) two of my children, Dom and Paisley, are having a lemonade stand up at Stokes Marketplace's parking lot from 11-2 and get a cold cup of lemonade. This isn't just a regular lemonade stand and this is why...

A few weeks back Dom came to me pretty upset. At recess a kid teased (I'll be nice and call it that) Dominic about his older brother, Seth, and called him a very hurtful word that starts with "R". Dom and I talked for a few minutes and he calmed down. Later that night he asked if he could make a YouTube video to tell his point of view towards his brothers and sister. With the help of my sister-in-law, Dom made his video.

Just days later Dom and Paisley wanted to find a way to earn money, actually work, so they could help buy their brother a specially adapted bike for Seth. I had to support them in this. What kids come to their parents and ASK to WORK for money? Then not want to use the money for themselves but get their brother something that would make him happy. I'd say some pretty awesome and unselfish kids, that's who.

The two asked the grocery store manager if they could use the parking lot and gained permission. I posted the event on Facebook and bought ingredients to make some juice. Well, the events invited grew to over 1000 in two days and so far over 100 people have replied to come. We made another trip to the store and bought some more lemonade.

A local newspaper contacted me a few days after the Facebook post and asked to run the story. This brings us to the second announcement. The editor of Cache Magazine allowed me to write the article. I'm published! Here is the link to the write up in Cache Magazine.

So there you have it.

If you get thirsty tomorrow, I hear it's going to be in the high 80's, come up and get a cup of lemonade.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

How It Feels

My son made a clip to help explain to others what its like to be the only sibling who doesn't have Fragile X Syndrome. Watch and enjoy.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I miss those warm summer days when you could just take a nap outside. Glad my son could enjoy it.

Friday, April 6, 2012

One Year Old!

Riot turned 1!

I can't believe how fast this time has gone. Here are some highlights of his party.

One of his presents was a mini baby grand piano. He LOVES it! We think he looks like the Peanuts character, Schroeder, because Riot gets all intense when he plays.

When we sang Happy Birthday Riot didn't know what to think. You can tell by the expression on his face he's not for sure if he likes it or not.

And the cake smash! Now this he loved. By the time he was done all you could see were two blue eyes peeping through a frosting covered head.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Wild Girl

A lady stopped me at the super market the other day and complimented me on "how well of a mother I turned out to be." I smiled and told her thank you. As I grabbed a loaf of bread off the shelf she spoke up again. "I really thought you were going to turn out to be a single mother living off welfare." This took me by surprise and everything I had to keep a grin on my face. I couldn't believe she had said this to me.

I calmly said, "I guess everyone can be full of surprises." Trying to get a way from her, I stepped away and acted like I was trying to decide between creamy or chunky peanut butter. It didn't work. She followed me.

"I mean you were so wild. And your husband. Boy, with the background he came from you would never know by the way you two are so close to the church." She leaned against the handle of her shopping cart.

Now, it's one thing to say something about me, but bad mouth my husband, you're going to have a problem. I did stay calm but only because we were in a public place. The only thing that came to mind that I should do is kindly excuse myself. Which I did by making up that I had to hurry and get my daughter to dance practice.I checked out without getting the rest of the items I'd gone in there for.

For the rest of the day I couldn't get what this lady had said to me out of my mind. After I got the kids to bed and was rocking my baby to sleep, I thought about my younger days.

Yes, there was ONE YEAR in Jr. high that I made a few bad choices, but had long since made peace about them with the Big Man upstairs. In high school, I did have a steady boyfriend that I married. I mean yeah, I did stupid things with a few of my friends like t-p the Biology teacher a few times, but really who hasn't toilet papered someones house before. I never partied because I was on the drill team, a cheerleader, or played on the school softball team and had random weekly drug tests. I worked or had dance class every night of the week so I didn't have any time to do anything. But, I ended up a teen mom though, so maybe that was what she meant. I did marry the father of my baby and he is wonderful. In my honest opinion, the best. And for his back ground? What, that he didn't grow up in the church makes him a lost cause? I don't think so. He is very faithful and honest in his daily doings and in his marriage. 

After going through this mental list, I couldn't understand what was so "wild" about me or what I did. I realized whatever she thought I did didn't matter, because in my eyes I wasn't wild. This just showed me that there are still some very judgmental people.

I consider myself a very religious person and this judgement that was being held over me bothered me. I hope that you all know I DON'T judge anyone. It's not my place nor my right and I'm very thankful for that. I think what make a person good or bad is how they treat the ones they are around and their honesty. There are people who have done bad things to themselves and others. I'm not going to go out of my way and be friends with them. I'll be kind when I come into direct contact with them but I'm not going to look at them and think that there's no hope for them. I'll let our Maker do that.

So, what I guess I'm saying is I don't give two hoots what you think of me because I know what kind of a person I am. And that is what counts to me.    

Monday, March 19, 2012

An Illegal Name?

I've been busy writing away on a story lately (between cleaning up barf- see previous post), and developed a new character. As all characters in a story, it needed an name. The typical Bill or Steve wasn't fitting either so I turned to my number one helpful tool, Google.

Looking over the links I found an article that was titled 10 Illegal Baby Names. Yes, I had to read this. It started out mentioning at the beginning of 2011, the Pope declared war on naming babies after celebrities, fruit, or popular sports cars. In an address to parents he asked that when thinking of baby names, they should 'give your children names that are in the Christian calendar'. Here's a link to the original article where it goes on to talk about what names are illegal in what countries.10 Illegal Baby Names

Good thing I'm not Catholic, because I highly doubt he would have agreed to my last baby's name.

I agree that some of the names mentioned were bad but then some were fine. Reasoning's for these authorities rejected the names because; they cause offence, could cause the child to have self esteem issues and/or insecurity, weren't keeping with religious traditions of their country, or in the case of Germany, if the name doesn't clearly show if the child is a boy or girl it isn't allowed. Boy, that one would be a problem here. I know quite a few names that started out for boys then used for girls and vise versa.

In Japan, the name Akuma was rejected because it means Devil. I don't know if I would want to name my child after Lucifer but to each their own. But, what about the couples that name their child after Christ? I don't personally know of any people name "Christ" but I do know a Jesus (Spanish pronunciation Hay-Seuss).

Personally, I like original/unique names. I also like classic ones like Charlotte, Olivia, Benson, and Mathew.My husband and I chose unique names (to us) but spelled them as they sounded. That was another reason names were refused. creative spelling. Our reasoning was so who ever saw the name could pronounce it correctly. But you know what. My son, Dominic, still gets the occasional Dom-a-nique.

If America ever adopted this I think there would be a lot of citizens getting name changes. With that, I want to tell my children, Seth, Dominic, Paisley, and Riot I hope you enjoy your names.  

Friday, March 16, 2012

Oh, No.

Last week I quit nursing my baby. Well, he just turned one a few days ago so I guess he isn't a baby-baby any more. About six months ago we found out he is allergic to bananas, not a fun day on that one, so I'm really picky when I give him foods. This kids wants to eat all the time too. Being 12 months old, we did a straight transition from breastfeeding to sippy cup. He did okay during the day but since he still wakes up two times in the night he wants a bottle, not that cup.

When my other kids turned one, I gave them cows milk in their cups and did the same with number four with out thinking twice of it. I was wrong.

He became overly fussy the moment I stopped nursing. I guessed it would happen because this kid wanted to nurse every two hours up until we stopped. Oh, and the diapers were nasty runny. Riot got his shots the day after his birthday and is also getting some molars and yet again I guessed this could be linked to the runny nose and nasty diapers.

On day three of cows milk the fussiness grew to whet I thought were outrageous temper tantrums. He would scream so loud he'd arch his back. I'd try and sooth him by lightly rubbing his belly or back while holding him. He'd cry even more when I touched his stomach. Then came the vomiting. Like Old Faithful had been placed in my son's mouth and went off a few seconds after he's finish a bottle.

Today while rocking him because he hadn't wanted to eat anything, it hit me. He has to be allergic to milk. I thought back to when he was first born and he would get a really upset stomach if I'd drink milk. You'd think I was a new mother by not connecting the dots, but when you other three kids aren't bothered by any foods I never thought about it.

If any of you have any tips on this let me know. And don't be a smarty pants and say, "Don't feed him milk products." 

Oh, the joys of being a parent. Lovely, aren't they?  

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Fragile X Syndrome Awareness Day

I found this clip and thought I'd share it since a few of my kids have FXS. Hope you enjoy and help spread awareness.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

The Right Thing

I sat down this morning after taking my kids to school to watch the morning news. A couple and their kids were being interviewed about how they did the right thing. I'd tuned in a few seconds after the segment started and waited to hear what they had done. My jaw dropped as the news reporter went on about their story.

This couple had purchased a home in Salt Lake City, Utah. The day they closed, the husband went back to the home to soak in the realization of their purchase. He said the home was an older but very large home that had been empty for some time. He walked back to the study he planned to turn into a man cave and noticed a hidden door. Puzzled of how they and the Realtor had missed this. He pushed it open and found a secret hide away room. The room had no lights, so he left the door open to see and entered excited about the possibilities his kids could have playing in this room when he tripped over a box. When he opened it, he couldn't believe his eyes. It was full of money! Rolls of money, each containing $100. He looked around again and found seven more boxes chuck full of the same thing. The total ended up being over $50,000.

He called his wife and her instant reaction was they had to return the money to it's owners. They did! Gave every last dollar back! Yes, this was the right thing to do too, but my knee jerk reaction was, "What?! Do you know how nice that money would have been?" But, then I thought, what if it was me that had been saving the money and forgotten about it? I know I'd would've wanted it back. I wonder though, who would have forgotten they had the much money stashed away in a secret room? Maybe an elderly couple that over the years lost their memory little by little and ended up in a home then had someone else clean out their home. Who know, but whom ever it was got their life saving back.

They did do the right thing. They also set an example and proof that their are good, honest people still out there.