Sunday, July 18, 2010

HELP! I hate looking at myself.

I have a confession to make. I loath my self image. It’s horrible and wrong.

This post is going to be hard for me to do because I’m putting it all out on the line to be commented on. Growing up I was always in perfect shape. I should have loved my body then, but did I, NO. Why was this? Honestly, there were a lot of factors to weigh in on the reasons, but we aren’t going to get into it because this isn’t a pity party for Laci. This post is to make a point and set a goal for myself.

My self image has gotten to the point that I’m unhealthy; physically and mentally. Physically because I’m over weight. Mentally because when I see myself I want to break the mirror. Yes, I’ll admit up front I’m bigger now then EVER—even after giving birth. That is huge for me, a 5 foot 1 inch gal.

How did this happen, well I'm an emotional eater. I eat when happy, sad, tired and depressed. Now I know none of you ever do such a thing and I'm the only one. But food is darn good, but I must be strong in this battle. Wow did that sound cheesy or what?

So here is my goal. I WILL get into shape. I’m not talking about a weight goal. I just want to be able to run down my block and not feel like I'm going to keel over two houses down. So the answer, I’ll do some kind of work out everyday for 30 days and see if I feel any better. Seriously, I don’t like feeling this crappy about myself. I want to do this all naturally with no diet pills, drinks, protein bars, or some kind of magical fat dissolving shots. I don’t think that would be healthy, especially for me. It would only masks the problem and wouldn’t teach the life style needed.

I will update my blog at least once a week to tell you how it’s going. If anyone has some tips I’d love them. Comments are on the top of this post.

Wish me luck. I’ll need it.


A.S. Gabbitas said...

I know I might not be the one to look to for great health advice. Just the same I want to say that I hope you can do it. Exercise has always made me feel better about myself. I miss seeing the gym as much since I started baby-sitting. I do remember after exercising the wanting food didn't go away but I was starving more for fruit and veggies than pizza. I lost 50 pounds that way. I want to lose another 50 this year. I will cheer for you!

Vixyn said...

A: The majical fat desolving shots worked & because of the strict diet they actually did teach me how to eat better. BUT I kno u don't want them but u know me...I had to say my defence ;)

B: I do have an AMAZING thing that not only tastes gr8 but is calorie free & it really curbs those "I gotta eat attacks" I'll teach u how to make it tomorrow. U'll love it!

C: I need a walking partner so I can keep myself motivated...& get the fk away from John!!!!! Could u? Would u like me to come over & we go together? I'll go at ur pace & schedule.

I love u Laci & I know where u are. I was there for a very very long time.

Love ur big sis

Vicki said...

Go Laci Go! I am on the same boat with you. but i think your doing it the right way it has to be a LIFESTYLE change or it just comes back.

Raree said...

Sounds like a terrific plan! Go Laci, go! Good luck. Have you happened to stumble across my link on fb about the chocolate milk diet? Sounds crazy, right? I haven't been able to get around to exercising enough to be able to justify doing it, but it might be something that could help you. It's not really a "diet" per se, just an incorporation of chocolate milk into a good diet and exercise program.