Saturday, May 22, 2010

Why can't I?

Children’s laughter carried in the warm breeze. It wrapped around a young woman who sat on a park bench. A stray piece of hair drifted across her face and she brushed it away so she could continue watching her daughter play on the slide. Two women sat down on the edge of her bench and began to talk.
“I have a surprise I want to tell you,” said one of the women.

“What?” asked the other while she took her baby out of the stroller.

“I’m going to have another baby!”

Both women squealed and hugged each other. They went on about how happy they were for each other and how they both were now going to have an even number of children.

This wasn’t a conversation the young mother enjoyed hearing. She herself had been trying to get pregnant with another child. She stood up and walked over to help her daughter into the swing. As she pushed her child, she pondered why thinking about (let alone talking about) having another child was taboo for her. Two obvious reasons why instantly stood out. She already had three children and she carried a genetic mutation that could pass to her child.

The young mother took a deep breath and blinked back tears. Even if she was blessed with another child, she’d never get the warm congratulations like the other woman. She never had. Each time she had announced she was expecting she’d gotten, “Why did you do that for,” or “Are you crazy? You already have two.”

Even though each pregnancy was a great blessing to her, nobody else felt the same way. Why? Why does it matter to everyone else? It’s not their life, their family.

The pain in her heart grew too large to bear and she let a few tears roll down her check. She asked herself why people can’t be happy for her baby too. It’s not like her and her husband just say, “Okay, let’s do it, lets have a baby.” They really think it out. They plan, weigh their options, the good and the bad. They know what chance they are taking, but it’s their chance to take. Let them be happy with it too. Don’t make them feel guilty for taking their love and creating a life together.

The young mother took a deep breath and hugged her child. She looked back at the celebrating friends and thought..... "If they can be happy about it, why can’t I?"


Raree said...

I can't believe that people responded that way. That's just awful. All babies are blessings, even though there are times that all moms feel that it's SO hard to be a mom. And you are a great mom - your kids are lucky to have you.

Kate said...

Laci I truly think you are one of the greatest moms I have ever met I hope you know that! You amaze me with your always postive and upbeat attitude. I think your children are beautiful and so blessed to have you for a mother and jesse for a dad. And I think another little spirit would be just as blessed!