Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Push It, Baby!

The dashboard lights of our SUV dimmed as I parked along side the curb of my daughters dance studio. I wished her luck and kissed her cheek before she hopped out of the passenger door. Suddenly, everything electronic glitched off. The engine still running, I noticed the airbag light come on.  

My mind went to the worst case possible and I had a vision consisting of me pinned against the seat with a deployed air bag against my face. Yeah, so I shut off the car, waited a few minutes and started it once more. I couldn't pull out of my parking spot because the cars situated behind and in front of me were too close, so I did what any sane person would do and went store browsing until I could wedge out of the spot. 

Thirty minutes later, I got back in my SUV and it started, only everything was dim and my gages acted like my car was possessed. Not joking, they were spinning, whipping back and fourth, the speedometer jumped from 0 to needle buried in milliseconds. The headlights and interior lights alternated blinking on and off. When the dome light came on the headlamps shut off and vise versa. I am waiting to look in rear view mirror and see something like the grudge girl come climbing out. I called my husband, explained the situation and he suggested I shut it down. Then asked if I was at a spot he could either jump me because when I tried restarting the ignition it acted like a dead battery. ( Yeah, the poltergeist just drained all the juice) I was close to the bank entrance but there were spots in front of me that cars could park and block my help.

So, I hung up the phone and put the SUV in neutral. Opened my door and pushed. Holy cow! Apparently a Mountaineer is pretty freaking heavy. Especially when you are trying to push the beast on ice covered gutters. Well, I got it moved down two store fronts. I was impressed with myself. Embarrassed to no end, there were two vehicles behind me with parents waiting for their kids to get out of dance, watching me. Enjoying the show. As luck may have it I found the pot hole in the gutter! Pushing from the drivers door wasn't going to work anymore. I moved to the back and really put my body into this shove. It worked! Movement!

Pushing was getting a little more difficult because my oomph was giving out, and a truck suddenly pulled in front of my SUV and parked. Hello guy?!? Did you not see me, a lady with the whitest hair in Idaho pushing her dead vehicle? Guess not. Well, pushing was done. 

I got back into my car, frozen and exhausted to wait for Jess. Finally he comes just as our daughter gets out of dance class. He got a chain hooked up to tow me home.... Across town, yay! How many of you have ever had to drive a vehicle being towed by your husband? It's a lovely experience. Especially when A: you have no freaking clue what he is talking about when he says, "You are my brakes so watch for my signals from my brake lights." (WHAT!!!) and B: he is in such a great mood from this that it would be safer to hug a grizzly bear. Oh, did I mention the chain is so short that I can't even see the bottom of his tail lights? Oh, yeah this is going to be good. 

Halfway home I got the hang of it and stopped ridding the brakes, enough anyway that his head stopped shaking. When we pulled into the driveway I didn't even say anything to him about how fast he was taking corners because then he might of noticed the scratches from when I bumped into his bumper. That's why! I just grabbed the kids, hauled them inside, and started dinner. He can't get upset at me when I am in the middle of cooking his meal. I mean I could burn it or mess it up to the point it's uneatable. 

So, lots of things learned tonight. Mostly, I need a Pepsi. That is all.  

No comments: